Hey everyone! My name is Dominique and I'm a senior here at Canisius with only one semester left!!! I've decided to take a year off before grad school to relax and get my feet wet in some things I may be interested in doing as a career. I currently work at Wegmans (6 years and counting....) and volunteer at Compeer. Below is a look into my school psych practicum at Compeer.
Compeer Experience
I decided to complete my school psychology practicum at Compeer. The reason I chose Compeer for my practicum was because I'd heard so many positive things about the agency. Other students I met at Canisius who have volunteered at Compeer had explained it had been a worthwile experience, so I wanted to be part of that. Moreover, on a more personal level, I have always wanted to be a mentor to a child; be that constant in a child's life who would always be there and listen, unbiasedly. I know I have the skills it takes to be involved in a program like Compeer. Therefore, in May 2005 I decided to start my volunteer experience with Compeer and subsequnetly change two lives forever, in a positive, fulfilling way.
Compeer Mission Statement:
"Using the power of volunteer friends to improve the lives of children and adults who are striving for good mental health"
-May, 2005- (This section basically gives you an idea of the initial process one goes through to become a volunteer at Compeer)
This was going to be something great. I decided this was the time to start my practicum. I went online and filled out an application at
www.compeerbuffalo.org∞∞After this I was contacted by Pamela Mcgarvey, the program director of the Compeer for Kids Program. She explained the meaning behind Compeer and the goals of the program and set up an interview to meet with me. The interview process was basically meant to help me become familiar with the agency and conversely, allowed her to get an idea of who I was. She asked me many questions in order to get a jist of who I was and what some of by beliefs and values were. This was in order to create a profile on me so that she could best match me with a "friend". I was very excited after this interview because I felt an even more overwhelming feeling that this was the right thing for me.
The next week I went back to meet with Pam to read the profiles on children she had hand-picked, believing they matched well with me based upon the responses I had given in my initial interview. There were five profiles on her desk that she thought may work well with me. I read the first profile and knew this was the child I wanted to mentor and be friends with. Her profile stated she was a great person, but just needed a positive role model in her life- somebody to show her the positive road in life. I read the other profiles, only to be reaffirmed of the fact that Emily* was the girl I wanted to form a friendship with. Pam explained to me that she would get in touch with Emily's therapist and then we would set up a meeting with her and her guardian so that Emily and I could meet eachother and make sure we were confortable with eachother. I was so excited, but a little scared too. This was a huge responsibility!!
When one becomes a volunteer/mentor with Compeer this is the basic process one initially goes through.
*Name has been changed due to confidentiality.
Total Hours, May 2005: 5 hours
-June 13, 2005-
This was the day Emily and I met. I was definitely nervous because I didn't know what to expect- I knew that she had been "experimenting" with smoking, drugs and other negative behaviors. She had a very unstable life thus far (her parents were not very effective parents, always putting their needs before their children's), so I knew that was probably a catalyst for her maladaptive behaviors. I was ready to take on the responsibility of being a mentor in Emily's life.
I walked into the house with Pam and we sat down with Emily and her grandmother, who has legal custody of Emily and her siblings. I was actually surprised when I met Emily- she was the sweetest girl! She seemed very excited to be involved in Compeer, which took some weight off my shoulders. I wasn't sure if Emily wanted a mentor or was forced by her therapist or family to become involved in Compeer, so I was relieved when she started asking questions and suggesting stuff she'd be interested in doing. We decided to meet the next Tuesday for our first activity together. I definitely felt happy with my decision to volunteer at Compeer, and I could see Emily kind of was too.
-June 21, 2005-
I picked Emily up at noon and we went to eat so that we could talk and get to know eachother a little better. To me, Emily seemed like everyother teenager. However, I kept her family history in the back of my mind because I know she probably was keeping things inside. After all, her mother was in jail and her father wasn't the greatest role model in the world, acting like a teenager himself. But, Emily and I just hung out and talked about ourselves and life and school and all that jazz. We then went to a movie. I had so much fun and could tell she did too.
-June 29,2005-
I called Emily earlier in the week to make plans with her and her grandmother picked up the phone. She explained how Emily was causing the house into an uproar. She continually kept telling me this and how Emily had perfected the craft of makng everybody in the house crazy. This was the first time I think I realized that her grandmother didn't really understand the point behind the Compeer program. I am not Emily's therapist and not responsible for couseling her in that way. I felt like her grandmother was expecting me to "work miracles"; I felt like I was a kind of medication that would make Emily "better" in her grandmother's eyes. She also explained that Emily could only be out with me for an hour. I didn't like being used as a type of punishment. But, I decided to let it pass and see what would happen this one time. When I picked Emily up we went out for lunch.
Emily opened up to me a lot today. She told me how couseling was going. She also told me how her father had been arrested a week ago. This explained why her house was in an uproar! Her grandmother wasn't too understanding of what she was going through. I think her grandmother shouldn't have "grounded" her while she was going through this; she could've havdeled it in a different way. But, I'm an outside observer so I just listen and be a good friend to Emily. This was the first time I was beginning to understand Emily's situation and background. I think she was happy to get some stuff off her shoulders. I was glad that she felt comfortable with me.
Total Hours, June 2005: 5.5 hours
-July, 2005-
This month was really productive in mine and Emily's relationship. We both really began to form a bond. I learned more about her family life as well. One day we spent the day at Canal Fest in Tonawanda. Her half-brother lives very close to where the festival takes place. She asked if we could meet up with her brother (who is about two years older than she is and lives with his mother). The first thing I asked was if her grandmother knew about it and if she was okay if we stopped at his house. With this comment I realized just how much I had indirectly picked up about her family. Her family is dysfunctional in certain ways and by my asking if her grandmother knew and approved of her seeing her step-brother made me realize that Emily has a different life than most teenagers, at least what I'm used to. I became very aware of why Emily needed a mentor; she needed somebody there to give her some stability and a sense of security in a world that threw her mixed things- she didn't see her step-brother on a regular basis, she didn't have a positive healthy relationship with her parents. Talking with Emily and listening to her I really understood what a great person she was but also how she just needed that extra vote of confidence.
Also, while at the festival, Emily, her brother, his girlfriend and I were just talking (actually, they were talking and I was listening like a mother who drives her childen and their friends to things!) and I realized what kids today are faced with! They were talking about sex, drugs, smoking, etc. Things I couldn't believe were going through young teenagers' minds (I'm so naive sometimes!). Her brother and her were also talking about how their father often uses medications perscribed to others (mostly muscle relaxers from what I could gather). Now I understood why she was not in the custody of her parents...I guess I give her grandmother more credit for dealing with the situation.
We also went to a bisons baseball game this month and she really reminisced about her childhood, recalling times when her parents had custody of her and her siblings and they did family things: went to the beach, out to dinner. It hit me that she did have parents and family who care for and love her, but they were just confused on how to really set boundaries and raise children in a healthy way. They weren't the best role models, but do love her, and I think that's why she's torn. She doesn't understand.
Total Hours, July 2005: 8.5 hours
-August, 2005-
Not very much happened this month. Because it was nearing the end of summer, we just hung out as often as we could and had a good time. We were only able to spend about 8 hours together this month because of our busy schedules. One day Emily and I went to get pizza and then hung out at my apartment. I think she was excited to see how bright her future could be. She saw me living with roommates and just growing up and I could tell she was excited- no matter how miserable she thinks her life is now and how mad she is about her family life, she saw that there is a reason to deal with it- something better (more interesting) is always on the horizon.
Also, I know she's interested to going to college when she graduates high school, so I thought it would be kind of fun to bring her to campus with me to do some small things. I needed to pick up my parking pass and buy some books, so I asked if she'd be interested in seeing a college campus. She thought is was really cool (but she couldn't believe the prices of books!) I wanted to make college something for her to look forward to. As we were walking the streets and passing other students I explained how college is such a unique experience and how she should definitely go if she has the opportunity. She's such a smart girl and seeing how determined she is to make a good life for herself I'm so glad I'm here to help.
Total Hours, August 2005: 8.5 hours
-September 14, 2005-
Today Emily's grandmother had an "episode" when I called on the phone. I know Emily always shares our plans with her grandmother because I hear her in the background on the phone. However, today when Emily asked if Saturday would be okay for us to hang out, I heard her grandmother yelling. So, I asked to talk with her. Her grandmother proceeded to explain how Emily never tells her our plans or even asks for permisison to go out with me; her grandmother felt that she was "not being included in these plans". She made it a point to say how Emily is deliberately trying to keep her out of the loop. I was angered by this because I always hear Emily ask for permission while I'm on the phone with her. I let her know this because this is not the first time she's tried to make Emily look like a "bad guy". I've noticed she puts her down sometimes, right in front of me. I reassure Emily that there is nothing wrong with her because she tends to get depressed about her grandmother looking down upon her. I don't "bad mouth" her grandmother, but I just assure Emily that she's not a horrible person. I think she neds to hear that.
Everything was fine when I picked her up on August 17th, but I always keep it in the back of my head that sometimes her grandmother stresses and sometimes gets things a bit backwards. Honestly, I think her grandmother is frustrated with both me and Emily; Emily gets out of the house to do fun things and I am more capable of paying for things when Emily and I go out, whereas her grandmother is limited with money. Although I only spend about $5 when we go out, Emily's grandmother isn't able o do that because she is supporting her 4 grandchildren and I understand that. But I think sometimes she releases her frustration this way. She's always civil to me though, and I want to keep that positive relationship. Although I was really upset that day, I wasn't going to give up on Emily.
-September 24, 2005-
Today Emily and I went miniature golfing because she had never been before. We had a good time. On the way home she really opened up to me about her feelings. She explained how her grandmother didn't like her one friend because she smokes. Emily just kept pouring her heart out about how her grandmother refuses to get to know this particular friend and just judges her. Emily explained that her friend's parents drink a lot and her father hits her sometimes. She explained that if her grandmother would take the time to understand the background she comes from, then maybe she would be more understanding. I thought this was very mature of Emily. I explained that I understood where her grandmother was coming from, but how she should get to know this friends before judging her. I was amazed at what Emily was telling me. It made me realize the problems some kids face in the world. She had a good understanding that her friend had a different life experience and Emily was understanding and tried to help her friend. I was concerned that this friend would have a negative effect on Emily, but Emily seems to be the mature friend who is there to listen. I don't think this friend has a negative effect on her because Emily was able to listen and realize what her friend was going through. I just really learned so much about Emily's relationship with her friends, and I'm proud that she is so mature and still herself around her friends (from what I know).
Total Hours, September 2005: 12.5 hours
-October 2005-
Emily has been doing great in school so far this year-she's really involved in school as well. She tutors young children at a nearby school every Tuesday. This really helps her self-esteem and self-concept because she gives back to the community and helps those is need. She really enjoys this as well and always shares her experiences with me. She loves working with children and is really good at it. She always cares for her younger siblings, so it comes naturally. I'm glad she has something like the tutoring to do in her free time. Instead of getting in trouble and doing negative things with her time she is doing prosocial activities and it's things like this I think youth need in their lives. Emily is a different person because she feels needed. I'm really proud of her taking the initaitve and getting involved.
Total Hours, October 2005: 12.5 hours
-November, 2005-
Emily received her report card today and is not doing well in certain areas. Her grandmother was aware of how important it is for Emily to do well in school and made it clear that she needs to do better. I told Emily and her grandmother that we can take time to do homework and that Emily can call me anytime. She assured us she would do better. I was happy to see that both she and her grandmother know how important school is.
Emily continues to tutor and is doing an awesome job. I always reinforce her by telling her how cool it is that she is doing what she is doing, and that she enjoys it too. She has also been staying at her father's house on the weekends with her siblings and I think this is good for her. She's always happy to go to her father's house because it reminders her of happy times. Also, her mother is being released from shock camp in 2 weeks and she expressed how excited she is. I can tell she really misses her mother and is very excited to see her come home. I am, however, afraid of how Emily will act when her mother and father are together again, as a family, but she and her siblings are still living with her grandmother. For a 15 year old, I wonder if she will rebel against her grandmother, citing that she should be with her parents. I have a feeling this may be a confusing time for her. I hope she can try to understand the situation, which is hard for a young girl.
Total hours, November, 2005: 12.5
-December, 2005-
December was a fun month for Emily and I. We made Christmas cookies (which was an experience!) and went to see the Christmas tree lighting at Rotery Rink. We really had a great time.
Emily is not acting out like I thought she might in response to her mother coming back home. She's still tutoring and doing school work. I try to keep up with how she's doing in math. I don't want her to fall behind or not do well.
Even though we have been friends for seven months, we are still getting to know so much about each other and I realize, as cliche as it may sound, that I need her as much as she needs me. Just as any new relationship does, you learn so much about yourself, the others around you and the world. Volunteering at Compeer has affirmed the fact that I definitely want to work with children, preferably at risk youth. I enjoy the feeling that someone trusts in me and allows me to help them. I realized that Emily just needed a trusting, caring friend. And I feel that I can give that to her. It's a great feeling knowing that I play such a small, yet important part in her life. Sometimes, that all a person needs. Whether I decide to pursue a career in school psychology, social work or another related field, I know it'll be worth all the work I put into it.
Total hours, December, 2005: 16.5
-January, 2006-
Emily had midterms this month, so I'm excited to see how she is doing in school. She seems to be doing well, so I'm happy for her. I got to meet one of Emily's friends this month. We were at the mall seeing a movie and one of her friend's was there. I can see that this friend could have a negative influence on her. She was smoking outside, so I asked Emily if this was one of her better friends, and she said "yes". I didn't ask much because I didn't want to sound like a mom, but I will be keeping an eye on her! I just know that she was "experimenting" with some things before I met her, so I want to make sure that I get accross to her that the experimenting is not worth it. I'm here to show her positive things that life can bring her way, and she does display more prosocial behaviors that negative ones, and I want her to stay that way! Other than that, Emily is doing great!
Total hours, January 2006: 12.5
-February, 2006-
Emily and I did many fun things this month. Compeer sponsored a board game night this month, so we participated in it. It was a lot of fun! We also went ice skating at Rotary Rink. Emily and I had fun attempting this. I think it's one of her new favorite things to do because she always wants to go ice skating now! I'm glad that I was able to do something with her that she may not have done otherwise.
She also made a comment to me this month that really made me feel good about what I'm doing with her. She told me how people in her family have noticed that she's changed for the better. She is doing better in school and doesn't fight with her grandmother as much any more. I'm glad to see that she is doing better and feels better about herself. This really made me think about how important it is for someone to have that person in their life. I feel like Emily just needed someone to hang out with and have a good time with. I still find it amazing how my friendship with her can have uch a positive impact on her. It's really amazing.
Total hours, February 2006: 12.5
-March, 2006-
Emily and I have just been concentrating on school and looking forward to the nice weather. She's been talking a lot lately about how when she turns 16 she wants to move in with her mom and dad. I knew that eventally she would want to do this. I try to explain to her that living with her grandmother is not as bad as it seems. I think she's lucky to have a grandmother who is willing and caring enough to take care of her and her three siblings. I'm afraid that she won't do as well in school or life in general if she moves in with her parents. Her parents just are not appropriate role models and lack parenting skills. But, all I can do is try to show her it's not so bad and to do what she feels is in her best interest.
Total hours, March 2006: 8.5
-April, 2006-
This month I met Emily's mother. Emily's grandmother has custody of her and her siblings, but the visit their parent's on a regular basis, which I feel helps Emily a lot. She seems to feel more "normal" now that her parents have their own apartment and she and her siblings visit them regularly. I can tell she feels her family life is better functioning, which leads to success in other areas. Her self-esteem seems much higher. I hope that this trend continues, which I think it will.
Total hours, April 2006: 9
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